Setting Healthy Boundaries

     One of the toughest things that many of us have to face in life is setting healthy boundaries.  We need to know what to say "No" to and what to say "yes" to as well.  This process is not as easy as it sounds either.  During my college years, I wanted to do a little bit of everything until I found myself utterly exhausted.  I ended up taking a short break to recuperate so I could resume my schedule.  However, the problem was not really solved.  I had not learned to pace myself and this carried over into all of my activities.  This not only results in undue stress but also can hurt relationships and keep us from being at our best.

     As believers, we need to take a look at our lives and make certain we are "making the most of our time because the days are evil..."(Ephesians 5:16).  Jesus did this.  He took time for prayer and refreshment by seeking out the Lord's fellowship.  Mark 1:35-39 tells us: " And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, “Everyone is looking for you.” And he said to them, 'Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.' And he went throughout all Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and casting out demons."  Jesus did not succumb to pressure from his disciples to stay in the place where He was until all are

healed in that town.  Instead, He sought the Father to find rest in His presence and direction for the day.  He confidently told the disciples that they were to move on to other communities to tell the "Good News" of God's kingdom.  Our days need to begin with prayer if we ever want to set healthy boundaries in our lives.  Seeking God's direction for the day is the best place to begin.

     Secondly, we need to take time to relax in order to deepen relationships.  Jesus also modeled this for us.  Think of the many times when He went to dinner to have fellowship.  He spent time with Mary, Martha and Lazarus.  He went to dinner at Levi the tax collector's home and also had dinner at the home of a Pharisee. There is something about breaking bread together that fosters opportunities to talk, share and decompress from the stresses of every day living.  The added benefit is knowing how to pray for those we commune with as well.  Life is short.  We do not know when we will have the privilege of being with our family and friends. so we need to take advantage of the opportunities we have here and now.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us.

     Above all, we all must learn to say "no" even to good things in our life from time to time.  We cannot do everything, go everywhere and expect to avoid burn out sooner or later.  I recently had the opportunity to get involved in something I would love to do, but I looked at my schedule and time with my family and said "no".  Inside, I wanted to fit that activity in somehow but I have finally learned my limits.  This is something we all need to learn to do if we desire to care for our bodies...the Temple of the Holy Spirit.  We have to put down our cell phones, stop business calls after a certain time of day, say "no" to activities that would turn our already busy calendar into a non-stop marathon, and ask for God's guidance in how we use our time.

     With the holidays fast approaching, we need to stop and begin setting healthy boundaries.  How many of you, like me, have said that we would like life to slow down a bit so we could really enjoy our celebrations?  We can enjoy them if we take time to talk with God about priorities and relationships instead of just checking off all our activities.  We also need time for fellowship and relaxation, but we have to learn to say "NO"  in order to do this.  What we must all learn to seek is balance according to God's plan and purpose for our lives.  The gift of life and time is too precious to waste; therefore, lets learn to be good stewards in this area.  Selah!

Going Through the Storm

      Since moving to Florida 43 years ago, we have lived through seven hurricanes and one small tornado which took out our pole barn.  We had to evacuate an island vacation destination overnight for one storm, and the other six we remained at home hunkered down to ride it out.  Even though we live inland, storms the size of hurricanes can effect a wide swath of territory and when the storm comes over the middle section of the state as it did with at least four of the storms, it can cause a lot of damage.  Days without power (ten days in Florida heat with Irma...five with Ian), trees stripped bare of their leaves, downed lines, missing roof shingles and in some lower areas, flooding, are all part of the storm's fury not to mention winds that can reach over 100 mph.  We don't have storm surge in our area, but we do often have gas shortages as people hurry to fill up gas containers to run generators.  Then, of course, we return to the basics of easy meals on a camp stove to keep us fed until we get our power back.  In our case, we traded northern blizzards for Southern hurricanes; however storms make us look at life very differently whether they are the result of nature or the difficulties we face in walking in this fallen world.

     Storms really can give us a new perspective on life.  As I sat here in the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, I really did not care about the world of politics, what college football team was playing or anything else

Our camp stove has been through five storms.

going on in the world just then.  I was just glad that we still had our roof, our house was sound, we were alive and so was our family.  When we go through a storm, our thinking shifts to what really matters most in life.  Ask anyone who survived on Sanibel Island or Ft Myers Beach and they will tell us that they are just happy to be alive.

     This is just one reason why I believe storms come into our life.  They help us refocus on the Lord because He is the only One who can bring us through.  We spent time praying, reading the Word, and having rich discussions.  There was no screen time without internet and no television either which in many ways was refreshing.  Our generator provided the basics in living keeping our food cold, and at night, our fans running so we could sleep.  In some ways, it was much like glorified camping, but it brings us closer to the things that really matter in life.

     Another lesson learned in this storm is the ability we have to serve and help each other.  The help from linemen, first responders and neighbors was truly amazing.  We had over 42,000 linemen ready to help power up Florida following this storm.  They were heroes to those of us living without power.  Offers of help with food, water and debris clean up has been a rich blessing as well.  Neighbors helping neighbors gives a great opportunity to share the love of Christ with others.

     A scripture came to mind that really seemed to summarize it all.  It's found in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:  " So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  This is what storms do in our lives.  They refocus us on what is most important and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.  Whether it is a physical storm like Hurricane Ian or the pain of loss in losing a loved one, God walks with us through the storm.  In these moments, the small troubles of our daily lives pale in comparison with the things that really matter.  As we draw nearer to God, He draws nearer to us as well.  Storms will come and storms will go but the love of God will never leave us alone.  Selah!