What Does It Mean to be a Friend?

     Lately, I have been thinking about friendship and what it means.  My mother used to tell me that if I wanted to have friends I needed to be one first.  This is really sound advice because we cannot sit in our homes without any interaction and expect people to seek us out.
     In His instruction to His disciples, Jesus told them what it means to be a friend.  We find this in John 15:14-17:  "You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last.  Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  This is my command:  Love each other."  What an honor and privilege to be called a friend by Jesus Christ.  However, we must never take this for granted.  We are His friends when we come to believe that He is the way, the truth and the life.  Once we have made that commitment, we must follow what He has instructed us to do...love one another and live the way He has told us to in His Word.

Long time friend Julie who came to visit

     Being a good friend in the biblical sense is first of all sharing with one another.  Jesus told His disciples what the Father had told Him.  Likewise, we need to be able to share our hearts with one another in a loving spirit.  I hate to say it but in our day, we fall far short of being able to even have civil conversations with one another on any issues.  There is a spirit of contention out there, but we do not have to live like that.  We can set an example of Christ-like friendship by being kind, listening to others points of view without attacking them, but holding firm the truths of our faith.  In many cases, just being a shoulder to cry on is what our friends really need.   Like Jesus, we need to share the love of God with our friends and be someone they can trust with their confidences.
     Secondly, a good friend is someone who loves us "warts and all".  Jesus loved us that way.  In fact, He loved us so much that He died in our place on the cross.  How can we then pick on another person's imperfections when God has forgiven us so much at such a high cost?  Besides, Jesus told us that if we loved one another it would demonstrate to the world that we are Christians.    The world system by contrast is marked by hatred, greed, envy, and strife.  On top of all this, friendships in the world are rarely deep or lasting.  Instead they are formed as a matter of convenience or control.  I believe that deep in our hearts is a desire for true and lasting friends who will not betray us.  We have that in Jesus Christ.  His love for us sets an example of how we are to love one another.  So how do we flesh this out?
     I know in my own life, I have not always been the best friend I could be.  There are times when I have not extended myself to others as I ought to or phoned them just to check on how they are doing.  It is little things like this that make us a good friend.  I believe that between brothers and sisters in Christ this is so important because it acts like a framework of accountability.  We are to laugh, cry, pray and care for one another.  If the friendship is rich, it usually works out that when one is down the other is up.  That is why we need one another.  We were made for relationship.
     Perhaps one of the greatest and yet most difficult parts of being a friend is telling another person the truth in love.  We hear that term a lot, but really do not know what it means.  It does not mean attacking another person but rather, it means being willing to sacrifice self and tell someone the truth knowing that they might reject us.  Jesus did that many times.  He told the woman caught in adultery to "go and sin no more."   This is one of the hardest things we ever have to face with our friends or even our family, but if we never tell someone they are about to fall in a pit, we will be sorry when they are injured.  Proverbs says:  "The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend" (Proverbs 27:6).  I would rather have a friend wound me with the truth for my soul's sake than to tell me lies to tickle my ears and lead to my destruction.
     Jesus was a perfect friend.  He sticks closer than a brother, and shows us, by laying down His life for us, what real relationship is all about.  As believers, how do you treat your friends?  Are you willing to take time to talk to them, pray for them and reach out to them?  If ever the world needed something now...it is genuine friendship and love that Christians have to offer.   Be a friend to someone today.  Selah!

Lord Change Me!

     With all the turmoil in our world today, it is easy to feel discouraged and overwhelmed.  Many of us turn to prayer when the going gets tough and that is a great place to begin.  However, we need to take a second look at how we are praying.  Too often we focus on changing others, changing the people we work or live with, changing our leaders in government or in church.  Instead, we need to take another approach.
     Instead of asking God to change everything around us, we need to ask Him to change us.  We need His wisdom to see our life as He sees it.  When we pray, we need to ask the Lord to lead and guide us that we might find the purpose for which He has made us.  Furthermore, we need to ask for His will to be done and not ours.  Too often, due to our sin nature, we think the problems we face are someone else's fault.  If they would change, then we could be happy.  Certainly, we can ask God to work in another person's life for His glory and purpose, but we must also remember that we may need a change in our attitude and thinking as well.
     According to the Bible, sin has utterly corrupted our thoughts, words and deeds.  In the Garden of Eden, man was like a pure glass of water.  However, man allowed Satan to put one drop of poison in the cup, and the water became corrupt.  That is how we are affected by sin.  When we come to Christ, we begin a journey of sanctification which will be complete when we see Him face to face in heaven. Until then, we struggle with sin which wants to pull us back to our old habits and perspectives.  Living in a fallen world with all its temptations does not make the journey easy but this is where prayer comes in as well as a study of God's Word.  Scripture tells us in Romans 12:2:  "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  Talking with our Lord each day...throughout the day....brings a change of heart and mind like nothing else can do.
     God's desire and plan for us is to be conformed to the image of His dear Son that we might glorify Him.  With this in mind, we need to be asking God to change our way of looking at others, our job, our church, our community and even our government.  By all means,  we  should and must pray for those around us, but we also need to keep in mind that we are a work in progress too. I confess some of this is hard to understand because God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  This is where we must trust Him and the work He is doing in our lives.
     Mickey Evans (a Pastor now in glory with the Lord) started a ministry at Dunklin Memorial Camp.  He reached out to those with life controlling problems that were breaking up families.  He reminded people in his care about "The Bombshell Theory".  It goes like this:  We cannot change another person by any direct action on our part.  We can only change ourselves and others tend to change as they see the change in us."  This change in our lives is a powerful witness to God's grace through Jesus Christ.  This is why we need to cry out to God, "Lord change me!"  Then we need to say confidently, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".  It is not "my" will be done.  
     Even if God came and changed our circumstances and all the people around us, we still would not be happy.  Until we allow Him to work in us by prayer and His Word, we will never know the contentment we can have as we walk through this world.  Begin today and ask the Lord to change your outlook and understanding that we might be ready to bring glory to His name.  Selah!

Abiding in the Vine

     Recently our son and son-in-law worked hard trimming back branches on our property.  With a machete in hand as well as a chain saw, they worked tirelessly cutting back the overgrowth.  Then when they had finished, they dragged the branches into piles for later disposal.  While the branches were green and filled with life when they were first trimmed, a week later the piles of branches had

turned brown and were quite dead.  It was a striking contrast and one that made me recall the instruction that Jesus gave to His disciples concerning abiding in the vine.
     In the Gospel according to John, we read these words spoken by our Lord:  " 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples" (John 15:4-8).  I love how Jesus speaks in simple terms using nature to point out how important our relationship to Him is for us.
     One of the first points that our Lord makes is that we need to be attached to Him if we want real life.  He said he was "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6).   Certainly apart from Him, we have no life.  We are like the dead, dry branches piled up in our yard.  Likewise, in this condition, we cannot do anything because we are not joined to the source of life.  We cannot produce fruit in our lives because we are withered and have no ability to do this on our own.
     However, if we are joined to Christ by confession and repentance trusting in Him for salvation, we are joined into the vine where streams of living water fill our souls and satisfy our longings.  Furthermore, Jesus told us we must abide in Him.  According to the International Study Bible Encyclopedia, the word "abide" means:  Old English word signifying progressively to "await," "remain," "lodge," "sojourn," "dwell," "continue," "endure".   All of these definitions lend the notion that we are to have intimate relationship with our Savior.  We are to stay close to Him and He will stay close to us.  As a result, we will produce fruit which, in turn, glorifies God.  In addition, fruit also demonstrates to the world that we belong to Christ.  This appears, at first glance, to be an easy job.  All we have to do is abide in Christ.    Unfortunately, we have the old nature still clinging to us.  When we give in to it and pull away from Christ, we are unable to succeed in bearing good fruit.  He is our source and life.  As He said, "apart from me you can do nothing."
     There are those outside of the faith who try hard to do things on their own, but they can never succeed without God's help.  Adam and Eve found that out in the Garden.  Humanists have tried to perfect man with every passing generation with little apparent success.  Secularists, globalists, communists, socialists and all the other "ist's" have tried but none can produce the fruit of righteousness that comes alone through Christ as we abide in Him.
     Let us take to heart the lesson of those branches which were cut off on our property.  They withered and died because they were separated from the source of life.  May we know that our life, power and fulfillment come when we abide in Him...it is not in what we can do but what and how He produces the fruit in our lives for His glory.  Selah!