Our Fear of What Others Think

     Recently a television ad got my attention for its "me-centric" theme.  A lady pops into a room filled with other women who represent various aspects of her personality (it's a commercial for Zillow).  There is "negative" me, "lazy" me, "anti-social" me, "spontaneous" me and a host of others.  Of course, it is all the same person shown on camera.  In short, it's all about "me"!  She is looking for advice on a home she wants to buy.  This is a clever ad, but it also reveals where many of us get stuck in life.  Instead of looking to God for answers, we often turn to ourselves or others.  This is what one author calls the "fear of man".

     A Bible study I am doing with a friend is based on a book by Trillia Newbell entitled "Fear and Faith". Her chapter on the fear of man really spoke loud and clear to me and I think it speaks volumes to many of us who love the Lord.  We can so easily be sidetracked in our walk of faith by being overly concerned with what others think of us.  We may avoid acting in a certain way or saying certain things in an effort to please others.  That is not to say that we should be tactless in the way we behave around others, but when we allow fear of others to dominate our thinking then we are demonstrating a fear of man.

     In John's Gospel, we see this on clear display as Jesus ministered among the people.  Verses 42-43 in chapter 12 read:  "Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in Him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God."  Just reading that makes me sad and yet, we are in much the same boat aren't we?   We don't want people to see our sin or be disappointed in us.  As a result, it leads to people pleasing rather than pleasing God.

     Another book which I have recently read (Todd Friel, "Stressed Out: A Practical, Biblical Approach to Anxiety") offers several symptoms of the fear of man.  He lists the following:  insecurity, people pleasing, given to gossip, afraid of failure, given to shyness, self-consciousness, easily embarrassed, avoidance of others, need to be in control, a craving to be approved, reactionary and defensive, can't handle rejection well, struggle with over-sensitivity,  overly competitive with others, controlled by the opinions of others (Chapter 16, Stressed Out).  Furthermore, he goes on to say that the fear of man is a pride problem at its core.  What we really need to focus on is not so much what man thinks but how are we living in light of our relationship to God who loves us and gave His Son for our salvation?  

     Our lives need to be focussed on glorifying the Lord and serving Him.  People's opinions, as we know, change with the wind but our God is the constant in our lives.  His love never changes for us nor does He abandon us when we fail.  He is ready to forgive when we come in repentance and any reading of the Bible assures us that He is the God of all mercy.  The Bible is right when it says in Proverbs 29:25:  "The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trust in the Lord will be exalted."  

     In addition, God does not demand a perfect performance from us because Christ's perfect, sinless life was imputed to us when God regenerated our hearts.  Our worth, our significance is not in what others think but it is found in Christ alone.  What a relief!!!  We don't have to dance to someone else's tune!!!  We don't have to overachieve or exhaust ourselves trying to please everyone.  We are accepted in the Beloved as a Christian.

     Obviously, we want good relationships and want to bless others, but our motive should be to please the Lord in all we do.  Let us cast aside our pride and our fear of what others might think, and enjoy our freedom in Christ.  Living for Him will bring the richest blessings and the greatest satisfaction!  Selah!