Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Setting Healthy Boundaries

     One of the toughest things that many of us have to face in life is setting healthy boundaries.  We need to know what to say "No" to and what to say "yes" to as well.  This process is not as easy as it sounds either.  During my college years, I wanted to do a little bit of everything until I found myself utterly exhausted.  I ended up taking a short break to recuperate so I could resume my schedule.  However, the problem was not really solved.  I had not learned to pace myself and this carried over into all of my activities.  This not only results in undue stress but also can hurt relationships and keep us from being at our best.

     As believers, we need to take a look at our lives and make certain we are "making the most of our time because the days are evil..."(Ephesians 5:16).  Jesus did this.  He took time for prayer and refreshment by seeking out the Lord's fellowship.  Mark 1:35-39 tells us: " And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, “Everyone is looking for you.” And he said to them, 'Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.' And he went throughout all Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and casting out demons."  Jesus did not succumb to pressure from his disciples to stay in the place where He was until all are


healed in that town.  Instead, He sought the Father to find rest in His presence and direction for the day.  He confidently told the disciples that they were to move on to other communities to tell the "Good News" of God's kingdom.  Our days need to begin with prayer if we ever want to set healthy boundaries in our lives.  Seeking God's direction for the day is the best place to begin.

     Secondly, we need to take time to relax in order to deepen relationships.  Jesus also modeled this for us.  Think of the many times when He went to dinner to have fellowship.  He spent time with Mary, Martha and Lazarus.  He went to dinner at Levi the tax collector's home and also had dinner at the home of a Pharisee. There is something about breaking bread together that fosters opportunities to talk, share and decompress from the stresses of every day living.  The added benefit is knowing how to pray for those we commune with as well.  Life is short.  We do not know when we will have the privilege of being with our family and friends. so we need to take advantage of the opportunities we have here and now.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us.

     Above all, we all must learn to say "no" even to good things in our life from time to time.  We cannot do everything, go everywhere and expect to avoid burn out sooner or later.  I recently had the opportunity to get involved in something I would love to do, but I looked at my schedule and time with my family and said "no".  Inside, I wanted to fit that activity in somehow but I have finally learned my limits.  This is something we all need to learn to do if we desire to care for our bodies...the Temple of the Holy Spirit.  We have to put down our cell phones, stop business calls after a certain time of day, say "no" to activities that would turn our already busy calendar into a non-stop marathon, and ask for God's guidance in how we use our time.

     With the holidays fast approaching, we need to stop and begin setting healthy boundaries.  How many of you, like me, have said that we would like life to slow down a bit so we could really enjoy our celebrations?  We can enjoy them if we take time to talk with God about priorities and relationships instead of just checking off all our activities.  We also need time for fellowship and relaxation, but we have to learn to say "NO"  in order to do this.  What we must all learn to seek is balance according to God's plan and purpose for our lives.  The gift of life and time is too precious to waste; therefore, lets learn to be good stewards in this area.  Selah!

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