Why People Leave a Church

Westminster Abbey in London, England

     There have been a number of research polls taken on why people leave a church.  Some of the reasons are valid such as moving away to a new location or a change of jobs.  Likewise, a lack of sound biblical teaching is another important reason to depart.  However, there are also reasons which seem not as clear:  hurt feelings; dislike of the pastor; disagreement over carpets, paint or physical facilities; finances; being too busy;  marriage issues; gossip within the Body; no one called to visit them.  I know a number of people who will never darken the door of another church because of one of these issues.
     Having gone through the pain of leaving a church myself, I know, firsthand, how difficult it can be.  My husband and I did so only after much prayer and soul searching.  We felt we could not stay due to differences in doctrinal teaching.  Afterwards, it took us some time before we were once again able to fellowship in a church body.  Such an action can be devastating emotionally and spiritually.  By God's providence, we were invited to our present church home by our current pastor.  With the invitation to come and visit, he also gave us time until we felt ready to plunge in once again.
     When I hear people say they want to leave their church home, I think of the article I read some time ago by Dr. Dale A. Robbins entitled "Before You Quit Your Church".  He listed five things to consider before leaving:  "If you are presently in a church that  1) is scripturally sound 2) is reasonably stable and  loving, 3) has godly moral leadership 4) is doing their best to exalt Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and 5) if they're making a reasonable effort to minister to you and your family then hang in there and remain faithful!  You don't know how blessed you are to have a healthy church like that."  These are some good guidelines for all of us to keep in mind whether counseling someone who is about to leave their church or for ourselves if we are contemplating the same.
     God has some excellent reasons why we need to belong to a community of believers.  People tend to overlook these in their effort to find the "exit" door of a church.  First, God commands us to fellowship with other believers.  Hebrews 10:25 reads:  "...not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."  Within the Body of believers, we are intended to grow and help each other in our daily walk with Christ.
     Another important reason to be in fellowship is for the preaching and teaching of God's Word.  Paul exhorted young Timothy (II Timothy 4:2) to "preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching."  This is how God will refine us if we sit under the teaching of His Word.  Yes, we can read it on our own, but there is no accountability outside of the church to help us stay on the right path.
     Thirdly, sitting in corporate worship allows us the chance to pray together, praise the Lord, take communion and encourage each other.  This is something we cannot do on our own.  Jesus told us that He would be present whenever two or three are gathered in His name, and He gave us an example of fellowship Himself as He went regularly to the synagogues and Temple to teach.  He did not isolate Himself.
     Finally, within the boundaries of the church body, we can serve one another and bring encouragement to one another.  Galatians 5:13-14 says:  "For you were called to freedom, brothers.  Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  For the whole law is fulfilled in one word:  'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"  Our freedom that was bought by Jesus Christ gives us the privilege of being His hands and feet to bless those around us through service and encouragement.  The church is like our family and as we reach out to share the love of Christ with others around us, we will find the joy of the Lord.

St. Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh, Scotland

     God's plan for believers is for us to work together to serve Him and bring glory to His name.  We are the Bride of Christ for whom He died.  Therefore, if you are thinking of leaving a church, consider the reasons for staying that Dr. Robbins listed.  If you have been through the pain of leaving a church, think about all the reasons why you need to find a new place to fellowship.  No place of worship is perfect because we are all sinners.  However, as forgiven believers in Jesus Christ, together we can glorify His name  through service in His Bride the church.  Selah!

Have you ever had to leave a church?  If so, how did God help you come back into fellowship?
I welcome your words of encouragement to help others in their walk.

Olive or Canola Oil?

A tantalizing dessert served at the Savoy Grill
in London, England

     Nearly every day, we can pick up a newspaper and read about another food that has been found to be detrimental to our health.  Sometimes it seems so discouraging,  and often I wonder what will be the next demon in my cabinet.  Just the other day, I read an article about olive oil not being as healthy for us as canola oil.  Yet, for years, we have all heard the praises of this oil as being a heart healthy addition to our diet.
     All this consideration of food and diet can be mind boggling, and some folks seem obsessed with eating just the right thing in order to maintain their health and peace of mind.  However, our existence is made up of more than issues like what we eat.
     In Mark 7:18b-23 (NAS), Jesus, who was speaking to His disciples, instructs them:  "Do you not see that whatever goes into the man from outside cannot defile him; because it does not go into his heart, but into his stomach, and is eliminated?  (Thus He declared all food clean) And He was saying, 'That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.  For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts and fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.  All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.'"
     This scripture points to the central issue we all must face.  What we harbor in our hearts is really what defiles us not what we eat on a daily basis.  Yes, we do need to watch out for our health.  Learning good nutrition habits and watching our diet can help to prolong our physical health.  But Jesus was concerned about our heart health....our spiritual heart health.
     Often, whether we want to admit it or not, we have thoughts which we know are not pleasing to the Lord; yet, we allow them to remain and eat away at our spiritual health.  No one else sees these secret sins but God does.  The only time our family or friends become aware of things which we hold in our thoughts or hearts is when we choose to act on them in direct disobedience to God.  This is what defiles us and hurts our relationship with others and with the Lord.  Our only recourse in redeeming our spiritual health is to quickly confess our sins to God and repent (I John 1:9).  By doing this, we are instantly restored to right standing with our Father in heaven.

St Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh, Scotland

     Watching our diet and being good stewards of the physical bodies which He has given to us is indeed important, but Jesus wants us to pay attention to the thoughts which we allow into our hearts.  He wants us to watch the words and actions that flow forth out of our lives.  Do these match with the life of one committed to Jesus Christ?  If they do not, it should be a "red flag" to us that we need to spend some time on our knees before the Father in serious prayer.  May our inner person of the heart reflect God's holiness in all that we do for this is the key issue to the abundant life in Christ.  Selah!


I welcome your thoughts here.  I read each one and find myself blessed.  Please feel free to comment and share encouragement with others.