Sometimes It's Best to Say Nothing

     When I was a little girl, I delighted in talking up a storm.  Some of my relatives thought certainly I would become a lawyer able to argue well in court.  Another thought I might become a missionary.  None of these predictions came true, but I will never forget the day that my mouth got me into trouble.
     Our family had gone to a nice restaurant for dinner one evening and after the bill arrived, I proceeded in my loudest voice (I was around six or seven at the time) to read the prices out loud and ask why it all cost that much.  Of course, my mother quickly silenced me and told me that was not polite in a restaurant.  I didn't know why?  The folks around our table chuckled quite a bit, so I could not see why my mother got so excited.  However, as Proverbs rightly points out:  "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away."  In my case, I learned and am still learning when to speak up and when to hold my tongue.
     Being a good conversationalist means we have to develop the ability to listen to another person before we begin formulating what we will say in response.  We rush our discussions and never give the other person a chance to really express himself.  Part of this begins in the home when we do not train our children to speak with respect and wait their turn to talk.
     Proverbs also gives us a picture of what happens when someone grows up without the benefit of discipline in a loving home based upon scriptural truth and the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  In chapter 18:6, we read:  "A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating."  That seems pretty clear.  How many arguments and disputes occur when a person does not guard his words?
     Another verse in the same chapter reads:  "A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul" (vs. 7).  Again and again, we see people say things which they later regret.  Without God's wise counsel working in our lives, our mouths can betray our darkened heart of sin.  Rightly Jesus said:  "it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person" (Matthew 15:11).
     Recently, I saw a Geico commercial that was not only funny but made a point.  A man watching T.V. sees a Geico ad and tells the lady sitting next to him that a person could save 15% on car insurance.  She replies that everyone knows that.  He comes back with the comment, "Yes, but did you know that words can really hurt you?"  The scene shifts to a cowboy leaving a pretty lady saying that he is a loner and just needs to be alone.  He turns to ride off in the sunset leaving her weeping in the dust when a sign drops down that reads "The End".  As the cowboy rides off, he hits the letter "E" and is knocked off his horse.  Yes, it is a bad joke, but it does make a point because words do hurt more than we realize.  A careless remark, a disrespectful reply, a whiny answer, or an angry accusation can all be destructive in relationships or at work.  Therefore, it behooves Christians to set a guard over their lips as they go about their daily encounters.  Learn to speak less and listen more.
     In Proverbs 27:27-28, we gain affirmation that we need to watch our words:  "Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.  Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."  As believers, we need to consider guarding our words so that what we do say will glorify God and edify others.  May we take this lesson from Proverbs and allow the Spirit to apply it to our hearts.  Selah!
   

Scars

 

An osprey guarding his nest

   When I look in the mirror each morning, I am reminded of how rambunctious my childhood really was and how terrifying it must have been for my mother.  I don't think I was accident prone as much as I was undaunted by trying risky things or just not thinking about the consequences.  The three scars next to my left eye were a result of falling on outside steps, the inside stairway steps and last but not least the metal frame of a roll away bed.  The first two I do not really remember but the last one I do.  My mother had told me not to jump on the roll away bed, but I did anyway.  Unfortunately, I lost my balance and hit my head on the metal frame leaving a gash next to my left eye.  I remember sobbing from the pain, the ride to find the doctor on the golf course (ice pack against my head) and the trip to the emergency room where the kind doctor said it wouldn't hurt...but it did!  I could feel every stitch he put in, and the lecture I received after it was all over.  I never jumped on a roll away bed again.
     Then, there is the ever present scar on my left elbow, but this came later in my life.  On a lunch break from the office where I worked, I went to a local restaurant to pick up some food.  It had been raining that day and quickly freezing in our Ohio winter.  The parking area of the restaurant was blacktop so I was not able to see where the ice began.  I ran from my car to get inside from the cold which resulted in a spectacular fall.  I landed on my left side with my arm pinned under me.  I thought nothing of it initially other than my arm hurt quite a bit.  Back at the office, my left hand began to swell and suddenly pain set in.  I had a badly broken arm which required surgery to put in a pin.  Then, after the healing, they had to remove the pin.  Lesson learned....don't run on a blacktop drive up north when the rain is freezing!
     While these scars no longer hurt, I can remember quite well what caused them.  The same is also true of spiritual scars.  Wounds from broken relationships, loss of a loved one, emotional or physical abuse as well as church hurts can leave us with a scar.  Hearts heal with the love of Jesus Christ, the passing of time, the giving of forgiveness and a decision to put things behind us, but the scar is there nevertheless.
     This past week as I listened to "The Strange Fire" conference (live streamed from his church and some of which is available through Preterist Global on YouTube - eventually at Grace to You on the web)  led by Dr. John MacArthur, I was reminded of the spiritual scars my husband and I carried from a painful experience in our past.  It gave us time to remember what we had been through as well as where God has now guided us and we were grateful at how the Lord had worked all things together for good in our lives.
     Paul wrote to the believers in Rome these words of encouragement found in Romans 8:28:  "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  This is a verse well known to most of us, but I love Matthew Henry's commentary on this particular verse.  He writes:  "That is good for the saints which does their souls good. Every providence tends to the spiritual good of those that love God; in breaking them off from sin, bringing them nearer to God, weaning them from the world, and fitting them for heaven. When the saints act out of character, corrections will be employed to bring them back again. And here is the order of the causes of our salvation, a golden chain, one which cannot be broken."  Indeed, God was at work even during and after the spiritual pain we had endured.  He bound up our broken hearts.  He set our feet on solid ground once again and led us to a pasture where we, His sheep, could be fed.
     When I look at scars today, I am reminded of those painful circumstances, but even more, I am reminded of the grace of God which has brought healing into my life again.  We must never let those scars intrude upon our thinking so much that we prevent God from working His good in our lives.  In fact, we need to resolve to learn from the lessons which we have received that caused the scar in the first place.  I know I never jumped on another roll away bed again after my experience.  Likewise, my husband and I grew in our understanding of God's Word rather than run from the church altogether.  We drew nearer to God and the study of the Bible.  We examined doctrine making it a priority to know what we believed and why we believed it.  This is how God brought good out of the hurt.  Our Lord built us up again from the inside out.
     No one is ever promised an easy life that skips over difficulties like a child at play.  Nor are we always treated fairly by the world system or at times, other Christians.  In fact, Jesus reminds us in John 16:33:  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  It is only through Christ that we can overcome the wounds we have faced.  We must never let scars hold us back from trusting in the Lord but instead, see them as a point of God's redemption.  He takes what is meant for evil by the enemy of our souls and turns it for our good and His purpose.  May we rejoice in this truth and give Him the glory!  Selah!

Have you experienced scars in your life that God has healed?  I welcome your thoughts.