an opinion in a gracious manner? My mother frequently schooled me in the art of communicating with others telling me that it is better to talk with someone face to face than to write things in a letter. Of 
course, today, that goes for social media as well. When we commit something to writing, we cannot easily take it back, or we can be misunderstood. If we can see one another face to face, we can get the true intent of the words. However, my mother also cautioned me to think before speaking because words can sting as surely as a bee. Many good relationships have ended because of harsh words that we later have regretted. All of this goes back to a heart issue.
Jesus in talking with the Scribes and Pharisees spoke to them about the type of fruit produced in a life. Matthew 12:33-37 says: "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." What Jesus is conveying here is that even a slip of the tongue is not insignificant in light of God's holiness. Our words to each other do matter. It is from the heart that the mouth either speaks good or evil, and we are responsible for our words.
James wrote a good deal about the tongue in his letter to believers and how untamable it seems to be if not brought under the control of the Holy Spirit. Here is his description of the tongue in James 3:6: "And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell." Then, in verses 8-10, he says: "but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not be so." Isn't this true? There is not a one of us that have not struggled with what we say from time to time. How is it that we can bless someone one moment and the next moment we can rip them to shreds with our words? I guarantee that what we say can wound every bit as deep as a weapon. Sometimes that wound can be fatal to a friendship.
So, in this culture in which we live that is so concerned about "hate speech" and being politically correct, I have to ask if we are more concerned about what man thinks or about what God thinks? Can our mouths be used as instruments of praise on a Sunday and then used to curse our neighbor who took a parking spot we wanted on Monday? Can we justify the use of curse words in talking to someone who is made in the likeness of God as James says? We need to evaluate this in our own lives. James tells us that we cannot tame the tongue, but if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, He can bring us the self control we need to hold back from saying something that would destroy our witness for Christ. Words can build up others or they can tear them down. Likewise, remember that God is in on every conversation....written or spoken.
For each one of us, it is a struggle to walk in this fallen world and guard our mouths, but with God's help, we will be able to speak in a manner that uplifts rather than destroys. Our prayer should be like that of King David in Psalm 141:3: "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Remember that our goal in this life is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever! Selah!
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